-Do I write about the
wonderful things that have been happening or do I also write about the pain and
the hardships that there are along the way?
-Do I write about how things go forward 2
steps and back one and the frustration and disappointment there is in the loneliness
sometimes?
-Do I write about me not having a shoulder to cry on and the heartbreaking things that happen and
cause sadness like my good friend, not much older than me passing away last week or my uncle just before
Christmas and me not being with my family and able to be with my mum to support her?
Or do I shy away from sharing for risk of
being judged and told for the millionth time to just go home and get a normal
job, or do I just choose to keep silent because I chose to come here, right?
I’m going to be authentic...
I can say that being a missionary here is wonderful and that the
fruit that is finally being produced is so very welcome... but it was sown not
only in joy and laughter, but also amongst tears and frustration...
Don’t get me wrong, I love being here, I love being used by
God
-I love giving people the opportunity to learn to step out in faith and
watch them grow in God
-I love it when people realize that God is working
through them and hearing the testimonies of what happened
-I love the joy
on peoples’ faces when they receive Jesus during the Fundays or other times
-I
love playing a part in bringing people to Jesus...bringing love, joy and
hope
-I love giving buns to the street people and talking to them
I wouldn't choose another vocation in life...I was made for missions, it’s my life’s
work...
-Did I know it was going to be hard? Yes.
-Did I know that it would be SO hard?
No.
-Did I know that it would be such a lonely walk out here in Sri Lanka or that there would be so many obstacles, so many disappointments? No
- Did I know that I would be in the line of fire practically everyday? No.
- Do I always jump out of bed full of
energy to face the day and everything that will be thrown at me? No!
-Have
I had to fight the temptation of eating all the special English and French chocolate
in my fridge in one go to find comfort!!?
Yes!
-Do I fall asleep crying and
want to give up sometimes? Yes.
-Will I? No, I’m too
much of a crazy wimp to do that!!
Living out of the box, swimming against the current... is
not easy... it’s a risk... and it does have a price... but it does have its rewards
also...
Relying on God for everything over here... means that I see
miracles of provision
- I see the miracle of how all the pieces of the puzzle
start to be put together and seem to make more sense
- I can see lives being
transformed in front of me
- I can see God working through the people in the
team
- I can see doors open where they have been shut and locked for such a long
time
-I can experience breakthrough
- I can see people’s eyes sparkle at the simplest act of love towards
them
-I can see 3 years of hard work here bearing its fruit
I realize that this has ended up being more of a thought
process and an auto-encouragement. In the end though, I conclude that although this lifestyle has a high price, it is well worth it. Though there be tough times, there is still
joy in the sacrifice. It is a passion. And so in the words of Miley Cyrus in her
song It’s the climb, which has actually encouraged me to press on these past days funnily
enough:
The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’ taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I’m gonna remember the most, yeah
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on....
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